3 Tips for Keeping Your Head Together, Even If Life Is Falling Apart

Photo by: Lechon KirbHow do you keep yourself together when you feel like falling apart?

Stress can cause your insides to feel like they’re in turmoil, then the headaches, the stomach aches, the

sleepless nights and body parts that hurt all over. You would give anything if someone would just make

it stop. Even on your worse days, you CAN keep it together.


There are millions of reasons why we get stressed; relationship issues, finances, children, household

issues, communication issues, illness, work problems, etc, yet it all comes down to one thing. How you

handle each situation.

In my line of work (coaching people way out of their comfort zones so they can do what they’re called to do or have the relationships they want to have), I watch

them panic out of control A LOT.  I understand this natural instinct.


After experiencing a traumatic brain injury I, too, use to panic out of control. The fear of falling and hitting my head, or having another seizure in public use to

get my mind swirling and my heart racing. While the doctors wanted to medicate me, I wanted a way to control my thoughts naturally. I had to keep my life

together on my own and without drugs.


Through research and study I began to see that my thoughts were responsible for that out of control feeling. If I was going to get mad about something, it was

my thinking that would determine the outcome. I could either fly off the handle or I could keep my thoughts focused on what I wanted to see happen instead.


Most people aren’t use to taking personal responsibility for their thoughts or actions because as children were usually taught to obey and not question.  When we

bring that same mindset into adulthood we give up our power to control our emotions. After this epiphany, I began thinking about the friends and family

members I had around me. I knew I wanted a life that was more calm, more in control and much more appealing. I needed to learn to love differently.

That’s when Step 1 appeared.


I remembered a Bible teaching I heard as a kid, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”Photo by: Alejandro Escamilla

I knew that the bulk of my relationships were with people who practiced unhealthy choices and said unkind

things. Their jokes were crude, their stories were unhealthy and they criticized or shamed just about everyone.

Though I still loved these people, and separating myself from these very close relationships would not be an

easy decision, I knew it was something I had to do.


In hindsight, that single step freed me up to be with people who added more peace and joy to my life

than I thought possible.  I no longer tolerated unhealthy behaviors in my home or in my life. Some

people chose to remain close, and were supportive, while others chose to leave the relationship behind. I was fine with their decision in the end because as we

grow, we make room for new relationships that are healthier and stronger.


Trandy bookshelf with many books and magazinesJunk In – Junk Out. Healthy In – Healthy Out.

While you may think the kind of books you read, the television shows you watch, the music you

listen to, or the people you hang out with aren’t impacting your brain, your relationships, or your

life, we’re all living proof that they do.  Scary movies, for instance, are usually about someone

jumping out of nowhere to kill people. When we’re frightened our organs contract immediately and

the emotion center in your brain goes haywire, not to mention what it does to our central nervous

systems.  These inappropriate things were often allowed in our home. Consequently, our children

use to have what’s called, “night terrors” because we didn’t value what went into their sponge-like

brains. They watched cartoons that we thought were ‘safe’ when what they actually saw was

characters that were angry, beating someone up or being sexual.  I know a lot of people who counter what I’m saying by responding, “I watch things for the

entertainment value.”

Entertainment value?

Why not watch them through a different lens called, Redeeming value, and see what your children are actually learning.

Junk In – Junk Out, Healthy In – Healthy Out.  Remember this.



Would it be amazing to no longer feel out of control when it comes to life’s curve balls?  Taking time for yourself is important. The other day I sputtered over issues

with technology for a solid 5 minutes – as if it would change was happening on my computer. My husband just laughed because I rarely go there anymore. So yes, I

still get mad sometimes, but the difference is… I now know to stop, breathe it out, and problem solve my way through it. Bye-bye panic mode! 

Breathing it out allows me to think more clearly to problem solve every situation. Photo by: Joshua Earle


When I teach others to breath it out and it works every single time.

Listen, I’ve tried praying, I’ve tried talking and listening to my clients and students, and still the

only thing that I’ve ever seen work like magic, is BREATHING.


Check this out.

One student from my Become An Author Program, was stressed at a level “7” out of “10”, 10

being the highest level of stress a person can be under. I could see the stress was overshadowing everything I was teaching so I asked him if he’d be willing to get

“uncomfortable” to allow me to teach him how to remove anxiety from his life permanently. He agreed.  I showed him how to breathe properly and it only took 2

minutes of his time, as opposed to years of therapy that hadn’t worked. In less than 5 minutes his anxiety level was now at a 3 instead of a 7. That’s significant

progress in reducing stress, don’t you think? If he puts this practice in place, anxiety would be G-O-N-E. He’s going to be a great author one day, but not if he lets

anxiety take control.


Take these 3 steps and ponder them. Think of where you might be able to start breathing in a slow deep way that allows you to let go of anxiety. Remember that

what you take into your life is also what is coming out through your words and actions. And finally, take a look at the friends and family member you have that

seem to be more toxic than healthy. Limit the time you spend with them and love them more from a distance. These 3 tips eliminated my anxiety completely and I

know they can for you to if you practice them. Be at peace my friend and please comment below if you think this would be a much healthier way to live.